As amazed as I am, I shouldn't be
Cyclical behavior causes cyclical events I wouldn't be surprised at all if I were still a pessimist You are leaving this town just as you came here: Absorbed in your own life and not concerned with any of your actions You're not concerned about your friends or your family as far as I can tell I would communicate these issues to you but I already know that I would be met with defensiveness and transferrence And after our last conversation I am positive that you will tell me what I want to hear so that I don't say anything You surround yourself with people who don't know you and listen to them as if they know your self-destructive behavior The unfortunate thing is that I have worked so hard to open your eyes to who you are in the world that you barrel through And I have been met with personal attacks to my character You still consider my wife and I adversaries despite what we have sacrificed for you Your inconsistency is yours to carry but I have become so tired of it affecting my life and the relationship you have with your niece It makes me sad that in 4 years, you've only been reliable for 6 months And that during that time you have done nothing but complain about how the man you chose to live with has brought your life to a halt Life's all about the choices that you make, not the events you fail to overcome It's not like you want to leave. You've just fucked up your life to the point where you have to run. Again. Just as I started to trust and rely on you, you became evasive inconsiderate, and preoccupied with the problems you have created in your life You throw your personal shit at me as if it should absolve you and pacify me I'm done with that shit. I've had enough of it. I am over it. So as you go back to the shit you left behind and try to make that work again, I hope you find the enlightenment that you have been faking this whole time I hope that the bullshit you have gone through somehow sticks and you decide that you won't ever go there again But the fact of the matter is, as much as you have focused on your own needs, you have neglected true introspection That's because you don't listen to the people who know you best Up to this point I have done my best to be the objective introspection that you have been lacking. I am done with it. I am over it. I have had enough. As much as I have made myself available to you and your problems I feel you have let me down As much as I have felt our talks have been substantial and eye-opening the truth is that you have just been biding your time until your next breakdown: The time where you have fucked things up so bad you have to pack your shit and get the hell out of dodge Well, good luck, Via con dios I'm over it Where so far that none have offered guidance
Internal mirrors provide objectivity No one remembers that maintenance and care Provide the best reflections Without awareness, without introspection We close our eyes to opportunities And a part of us slumbers forever But if stirred, that untapped portion Is the driving force behind conscious Evolution The momentum of that flowing energy Erases everything before it's arrival and Makes our futures unknowable and mysterious Choices then unfold or unravel And possibilities multiply But only if we acknowledge our faults And work to make good on our mistakes |
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May 2016
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